A calendar and some sweatpants

This will count towards tomorrow. Yeah, I'm working ahead. But I am counting 2 items! Leave me alone.

My Dad brought me the calendar. His friend purchased it and I guess she's playing the game too because she sent it to me via him. I guess everyone is playing the clean your house game. (Actually she just knows I am psycho for dogs).

The pants...well, long ago Scott got hit by a car on his bike. It was super gross and he had a metal Christmas tree sticking out of his leg. so his mom got him these pants because they zip up the sides. You can tell he appreciated them because he held onto them. They were a touch small so the tags never came off. I have had them set out to give to his friend for oh, 6 years. Time to let go. Because I am a giving person, here is also a picture of the aforementioned grody Christmas tree foot.

Don't you wish I was getting rid of this?

Don't you wish I was getting rid of this? Well, I am not. Nic made it and it is awesome! I figure i would post this rad jackalope for you on a beautiful Friday!

March 30- my dog is helping out too

So my dog is a jerk. The other day I took Turkey to the vet. Too bad his dumb dog ears don't understand vet vs. super fun party time without you. Turkey got shots and a stick up her butt. There was no party. But he was upset to be left out. So, he destroyed my shoe. Now you would think I would be tossing the whole pair but no! I had a backup! The little asshole ate a shoe about 6 months ago and i just couldn't toss the good one. It sat. and sat. and even a week ago I debated letting it go. But I didn't. And even though I call Miyagi stupid, he was smart enough to eat the correct shoe and I STILL have a full pair. YAY!!!!

Now, the second picture is what I made Miyagi do a few weekends ago. I brought him to a photo shoot and we dressed him in a fur pelt and made him look like he belongs in Thunderdome. When you see this picture and think "aw poor little boy" I want you to think about all of the shoes he has destroyed. He deserves to be dressed up.

Backtrack- this will count for the 28th

Scott cleaned house yesterday and then he stacked all the shit in the computer room. He made sure to make it a pain in the ass for me to get to the computer so I had to tackle some stuff. First- coupons.

Once upon a time I decided to try the crazy couponing game. I did alright. But man does it add to your pain-in-the-add factor of your life. First, you have to get the paper, usually 2. Then you have to sign up for all these stupid coupon sites. You have to cut the coupons and you have to watch the sales and do homework before you go to the store. THEN, when you do go to the store you have to buy a shit ton of some of the good deals and stock up. so then you have like 5 boxes of cheerios, 10 packs of pasta, 8 spaghetti sauces...well you get the idea. This is NOT conducive to de-cluttering. So, I ended it. I cleaned out my coupon holder thing last night and tossed everything expired. I haven't been doing much with it so almost all were expired. I figure I will use the ones the machine spits out at Kroger and the free booklets that come in the mail.

After that I was cramming stuff in the closet and there was a bag on a hook. It had some hats in it. I was nice and brought the hats to Scott and he kept one out of 3. So now we have 2 less flourescent hats in our lives. I had to rock myself to sleep over that one.

Summary: We got rid of a cluttering habit and 2 hats and a bag (in the goodwill box). Good job!

March 29

I skipped a day. Shoot me.

Anyhow...I had a free moment at work and while I was trying to find my pack of birth control (because the last thing I need to add to my life is a friggin baby!) I got frustrated. I dumped the whole purse out and spent approximately 5.6 minutes on this project.






I got rid of:
some loyalty cards that are on my keychain.
A ton of peppermints. I should have added them to the photo for color.
4 years of insurance cards
about 1000 bank atm receipts
2 old credit cards
a bunch of scraps of paper with notes jotted on them
some mail receipts

To top it off, all of my change is on one pocket now!

March 26-27 Scavenging leads to hoarding

So the cotton candy was given to me at a baby shower and I hate that shit. Plus I am working on my fitness. So when people are going to throw stuff out I can't let perfectly good stuff go to waste. I also can't throw away perfectly good stuff. This is crap and should have been left to go in the trash. so I did the next best thing: I left it on my neighbors door step for their kid. I hope they appreciate it. Hahaha. They'll get me back somehow I am sure. I'll probably end up emergency babysitting after she eats it all.

The next related item is a set of curtains. These have sat in the bottom of the closet for over a year. Not my color. Not my style. Why are they here? I think Lorigami made me take them at a yard sale fundraiser. I believe i was running around with one as a cape. So, ultimately it is my fault for touching them. Now they are lovingly rolled up and tied with a string to give to Goodwill.

I can;t let go!

So a long time ago i worked with a hot boy named Ian. He gave me this AWESOME shirt because every time he wore it I said i wanted it. Not only does it say porkers, it says "pork pork pork pork" down the sleeves.

I gave it to Scott this week. It is so amazing. I don't have a sentimental attachment because of Ian, I just think it is a wonderful shirt. BUT, I have not worn it in about 8 years. Hopefully Scott will use it or destroy it.

March 24-25

I count this as 2 days because it was in 2 sessions. I got rid of a bunch of shirts i have not worn in over a year. I hated to get rid of the kickin chicken shirt but I dont need it. and it is white which equals disaster.

The sweater is all pilled up and it was a shitty target shirt but I wore it to death. I keep trying to wear it and then i realize it looks like crap and I put it back in the pile so out it goes!

Oh, and Scott lost 2 sweatshirts. Why am i so mean? Because he hasn;t worn them in over 2 years which means he wont miss them. If he does then i will get him more.

March 21-23, we all lose some things

So even the dogs have to give up some stuff. This tiny chunk of antler is now gone. It had a good run but now it is choking size. The good news is that the vet said Turkey's teeth look Fantastic with not one bit of tartar! Go ebay antlers and buy some for your dog. You can thank me later.

Next to go was a waffle iron. We've never made a fresh waffle ever. I made some at a hotel waffle station once but other than that, eggo is the way to go. Or I could go to Waffle House (which i love) if I really needed a waffle.

7 lip products and 2 blushes. Well, i wear makeup barely. Why do i have so much? Because my friend is a manager of Sephora and when they clean out colors and discontinued stuff they go in the back room and eventually after the employees collect what they want, she brings it to us and we make ourselves up and split it up. It is great fun but makes way too much makeup.

March 20- a good day to get rid of my dead plant collection

These were pitcher plants. Really cool creatures but their time was long past. I emptied the pots and then cleaned out the fancy little fish pot and listed it on etsy. Actually it isn;t listed yet but it is about to be.

flower pots- march 19

I had these dumb pots in the yard. I think they were already mentally on the list. anyway, I would have given them to goodwill, but Scott ran over them. oops! Why was Scott driving in the yard? Well, that's just how he rolls.

March 18

I had a friend come by. She's eating healthier and has many friends that do communal cooking. Yes, she is turning into a hippie. I gave her a painting i made a long time ago and then had a tiny epiphany. Can epiphanies be tiny?! Anyway, I asked if she wanted a steamer. YES! She did want the steamer and i ran and grabbed it off the back porch (dont ask) and washed it off.

anyone want a rotisserie chicken machine?


UPDATE: Heather texted and said she uses this EVERY day. I texted back "YAY! now everytime you steam veggies you will think of me!"

Marth Stewart is a liar

First, go read this.

Now let's discuss. I think this little list of reasosn and ways to de-ckutter your life is quite helpful. We dont need most of whats in our house and tons of people have many things that thye could make money on or points they could earn or tax write-0ff they could collect. This is all true and the list and links in Martha's articles are quite helpful.
Next, consider what Martha does. she wastes our time and money with her awesome ideas and the way she sells the perfect lifestyle for a crafty woman. You can bake these awesome dishes, and craft all of your holiday decorations, while cleaning your house and redecorating your bedroom. Most of this is wasteful and CRAP! Decorating for every friggin season is silly and man, the amounts of Martha Stewart products you could waste your money on....Not to mention then you would have to scrap book it and make an embroidered pillow of a memorable moment inspired by the scrapbooking.
So, what i need from anyone who reads this: minions. lots of them. In order to lead a Marth Stewart life i will need helpers. and a bigger house to put all the crap in.

Some days i can trash many items

Officially i could count this as March 15-17 i guess. All of it went to the Thrift Store. I tried to go to the awesome thrift store that benefits animals but they were closed. Instead the salvation army got a box full of junk. I really hope someone wants 2 saucers, some crappy ceramics and some useless remotes that may or may not work. Someone will want this shit. right?

March 14....mama kitty

This doesn't really count but I figure I can count it since i was slack about getting rid of something yesterday. Mama kitty got hit by a car so that's one less thing. I guess I can count the cat food for yesterday since i gave it to the neighbor.

Don't worry, she was well loved and had a great life since she found me.

It feels like it is doing no good, but...

I know it is! So far i still feel completely disorganized and chaotic at home. I know I am slowly chipping away at the problem but MAN! I have so much crap! I am scared to let go because "i might need it one day". Luckily, this past weekend I got the yard mostly cleared and cleaned. I had to stop couponing because it was adding to the mess. Little coupon stacks and newspapers everywhere! Also, it was making me have to stockpile a little more to get the deals. I feel bad about wasting money but good about not having 5 boxes of cheerios to dig past to get to the cookies.

Computer monitor cover thing Mar 14

Why do i have this? No idea. I brought it home from work to see if Chris Hamer wanted to paint on it or something. I have no space in my life for this and so it goes to goodwill.

corn holders march 13

Guess who these belonged to? Yep. Shhhhh. They're too small for a full ear of corn anyway.

I should get bonus points March 10-12

2 of EVERYTHING! All of this crap was in my yard. AND I got rid of it! Yes, pat me on the back! 2 chairs, to the curb. 2 sinks, to the ReStore Habitat for Humanity store. 2 Grills, to the neighbor to sell for scrap! And yes, my neighbor was drinking a blue drink as you can see on the grill.

To clarify, the grill was an old roommates and didn;t work so Travis turned it into a charcoal grill. Travis has moved so I dragged it to the top of the driveway. Once my neighbor said he would take it for scrap I scurried and collected as much crap metal as possible. some wrought iron, a bent bike wheel, a small tiny grill with no grate thing to put the meat on. The chairs were still okay but the fabric was going to rip on the nice one any day now. The plastic one was just filthy. The sinks have been in my yard for about 4 months. Spring cleaning!

What the hell? Gross. March 8? March 9?

Today Scott lost some gross weird pot candy that has sat in the junk bowl for like 2 years. Someone from his old work gave it to him and well, I deemed it trash. Don't tell him. also, because I might have my days mixed up, I am getting rid of this helmet. It is also Scott's. Don't judge. It's really hard to throw away stuff so it is easier if i just throw away Scott's stuff. I'll buy him another if he ever notices. Plus, the lining stuff inside is totally rotten and gross and i had to shower after modelling it for you. i did give it to goodwill though.

March 5-8 artsy ugly shit

I made the skull from a mold. It is ugly and dumb. i tried.
My friend's kid gave me the pot. It is tiny and useless for me. Sorry Ava and Angee.
The unicorn is missing an ear and has sat collecting dust for ages. sorry Claire. I don't know when or how I broke it but it certainly was cute.
Trash trash trash

Feb 25- March 4

I am allowed to skip these days according to my friend Robyn. I was out of the country on vacation. I bought almost nothing there and made sure to be efficient and not wasteful with my food. You will be happy to know I threw out 3 pairs of underwear. No, I didn't have an accident or anything. They were on their last legs and I planned to toss more but I just couldn't do it.
Here's a picture of monkey balls for you.

Feb 23 and 24

I'm sending these phones to a charity because they work. I got rid of the leg lamp puzzle because it is completely dumb and a waste of space. Why does it even exist?